Conchita Wurst: A Rising Phoenix

   This 25 year old alter-ego of Thomas Neuwirth is different. Unbound by any chains or identities, Conchita is a far standout. With exceptional singing talent to give her company, one can only gawk in amusement and surprise by her sheer bars scathing from her larynx. 

  

   Her Austrian representation at Eurovision Song Contest 2014 produced a volley of controversy, hate, love and respect all at the same time. Conchita is sexy and still retains her real life Thomas's character - a beard. A lady in beard. 

    Yes, she is here to create waves of bewilderment.

Photo credit: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0mOcWXwNT0U/U3DT4NWzAEI/AAAAAAAAWdw/jFTrHHvHSW8/s1600/conchita.jpg

   
   The very essence of her being not limited to any rigid platform makes her quite gullible. Her indifference to the continued hate and disgrace being showered on her has only made Conchita more strong. 

    Perhaps so much, that the likes of Elton John and Cher has taken notice.

   As much as she is beautiful, her beard makes us remember the different perceptions and realities of life. Gender and Beauty cannot be restricted in to only male, female and others. There are so many shades of humanity that we are yet to discover. 

   And Conchita is here to do that. Her dramatic eyelashes takes us deep in to her trysts with the failures she has successfully pushed far behind. Her beard makes us remember the harsh truth of ignorance we have feigned for years together. 

    She is just an eccentric diva. A natural.

Photo credit: http://i.vimeocdn.com/video/474754037_640.jpg

   Her sophomore single, "Rise Like a Phoenix" brings such adrenaline rush in ourselves. Her beauty unparalleled, unconventional and modernistic - is an eye-opener to the myriad facets of humans, life and forms of beauty.

       A rising phoenix, we salute you!

siddheshgarg

My All

Amidst the black and white world around,

I am filled with optimism, I am filled with hope.

Sprouted sharp wings, ready to create the ultimate sound

Photo courtesy: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs32/i/2008/225/1/6/fly_away_by_overflowed.jpg

Filled with subtle hues, filled with glittering crimson red

Not an infectious disease, but a poisonous lead.

I will conquer, I may fall,

But at least I know I have given my all

- @siddheshgarg

Threes stories, One heart (Story 2, Chapter 02)

Story 2: Watambi and Sandy

Chapter 2: The LandOfUnknown

   Watambi was anything by average in looks. Nothing extraordinary but yet he knew how to display his assets. Considering his weird knack of being to himself, he wasn't like this before. There was a time when he would be completely out there vying for attention. Even his neighbourhood was aware of his antics and emancipated his amusing ways in an act of sheer stupidity. But he was absent minded. Always was.

    Never knew what people expected from him and he never really cared. He would always day dream. Day dream of being in a world of something strange and yet acceptable. Remembering his chronicles of past, he could only wail in a muffled tone and move on.

    Life moves on and Watambi was always okay with this. There is a resentment in everyone for what one wishes to become. Now, Watambi lived in a LandOfUnknown. That was the name of his town and virtually was nonexistent on the map. So was this land forgotten,

Photo courtesy: http://amazingezone.com/img/2012/August/Setowski/Magic-Realism-Tomek-Setowski-Poland-12.jpg

that perhaps the townsfolk never quite knew there existed Nutella and M&N's somewhere far and wide. They lived in an isolated space of normalcy which was headed by the TT brothers.

     These brothers were fierce, strong and in their 60s and yet could shovel a dolphin with their mere javelin aimed at a full blown throw. The TT brothers were olive skinned and lived at the edge of LandOfUnknown near the river. The river spoke of mysteries as no one had gone beyond and at max one could only hear stories of the townsfolk trying but being unable to return. Such curiosity was enough to grapple Watambi with excitement and against the admonishment of Mrs. Peggy he would often equivocally voice his desire to seek on a quest.

"The river goes to the place, beyond.", warned Mrs. Peggy.
"But Mrs. P, I have nothing left to do here. All I long for is the occasional times spent at the library and much your lovely baked pies.", reasoned Watambi.
"You are young and very naive.", said Mrs. Peggy
"Perhaps you never really knew me", said Watambi.

    It was true. No one really knew where Watambi came from. His personal life was a close kept secret that he refused to divulge. It was one dark cold night when out of nowhere, there was a knock. Considering Mrs. Peggy often had visitors and beggars scurrying for some leftovers, she was quite used to this drill. Just as she opened the door with her trademark jug of sparkly sherbet, she was for a shock when she found Watambi unconscious.

    Watambi was gripped with water from head to toe and was wearing a worn out kaftan that spoke of his long journey from the forests. His khakee coloured kaftan was complimented by a rustic pair of old trousers and had a duffel bag strapped on his shoulders. He was lying on the verandah with little to no consciousness. Just when Mrs. Peggy had second thoughts of calling the temporary kind souls from the nunnery, she happened to accidentally glance on to his eyes.

     Deep intense eyes, that was enough to melt Mrs. Peggy in to the kind hearted nun she once was. How could she ignore such an innocent traveller? Watambi's caramel skin shone in the shadows of the Moon light and he spoke of almost no malice or any game. Mrs. Peggy, who had an eye for the good and the bad, looked up in the sky and said."Is this a sign?"

    Watambi never wanted to love. He was quite averse to it and wanted to do unexpected. Drive down the motorcade for instance on a pair of trampoline or fly like a bird with no wings. He just thought of the world in a different angle. He was happy with his outlook for life and it was something which  made him a standout amongst the herd.

- @siddheshgarg

5 creepy habits of Desi Men

Desi men never end up making fools about themselves. Judging by the trend of being cool, there is an outflow of desi men trying to channel this impossible status.  Looks like that of Crime Master GoGo, they always manage to give the creeps. Presenting you 5 creepy habits of desi men.

5. Strutting the beach wearing knickers

You have a flab and a hairy body to accentuate that. But yet you manage to flash the tights in the hopes of attracting some hot bombshells lurking nearby around. Please stop!

Photo courtesy: http://clashdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/5.gif

4. Upload pictures dressed in Rupa banyans

Desi men just love to take pictures. Doesn't matter if you just wearing branded Rupa banyans and strutting that very evident out of shape bod, you still consider yourself nothing less than a John Abraham.

Photo courtesy: http://img.pandawhale.com/79040-katy-perry-whoa-omg-gif-AHrS.gif

3. You start sending Facebook requests to almost anyone

Now your friend list is almost 600 and yet you know only 50. Happens. You send countless requests to every other damsel in the hopes that "kabhi na kabhi toh koi pategi yaar!" Yeah if only your banyans were not enough.

Photo courtesy: http://www.lemouv.fr/sites/default/files/2012/06/19/25978/likecoholic.jpg?1389792775

2. Pinkie clad hand in hand walks

This happens. In India it sure does. Almost everyone has seen a fellow desi walking with pinkies held tight with some other guy. And amidst this torturous sights, they try to ogle at girls way out of their league. You going great brother.

Photo courtesy: http://shechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/i-som-88.gif?w=500&h=282

1. Aap Dude Hai

They start calling even the paanwaala a dude. When ran out of change, convincing the autorickshawala with a corny Dude line, even Tusshar Kapoor will wish to remain in his forever Gayab mode.

Photo courtesy: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lytzg7BSjx1roixiho1_500.gif

-@siddheshgarg

Three stories, One heart (Story 2 Chapter 01)

Story 2: Watambi and Sandy

Chapter 1 - Watambi's Intro

   The Sun is flaming red and so strong is its intensity that even the fluidic clouds seem to sense the tension. There is no one around and Watambi is walking. Alone. The journey is to somewhere beyond and the quest seems unfathomable. Always the recluse, he could absorb the sanctity of being with his own thoughts soothing.  

    From the times when Watambi believed in feelings being an illusion to meandering around the narrow runaways with cheap popsicles stuck in his mouth, material feelings for him was always hard to believe. He would walk the lonely road miles away from the neon lights and yet he could sense an unnatural peace. Peace from being a misfit and proud to be so. 

Photo courtesy: http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2013/07/18/arts/Rainroom-LN/Rainroom-blog480.jpg

   Whenever he would come back at his temporary shelter, his room was always filled with darkness. Due to the formal requirement of luminosity, Mrs. Peggy had against his wishes installed a disco ball. When switched on, his room would suddenly spring out alive with unwelcoming colours as if teasing at Watambi's situation. A voluminous bright ball, it hanged on the tenterhooks of a whimsical thread. So intense were the colours that Watambi at times would cover his intense eyes with his lonesome hands. The colours would shimmer in contrasts and would start dancing in the room. Rotating at a very slow axis, they would cause an inflammation to the room's tranquillity.
   There was rows and rows of depressions caused on the walls when the colours left. The seldom happiness was something Watambi was not used to. The colours zoomed in their own pace and yet when they left the spot seemed ignored. Only to be filled again, yet seemed temporarily ignored. The disco ball was the only source of light and considering the sheer austerity, the room seemed engrossed enough to even care. There seemed no known shades though. They were just soothing colours of yellow, golden yellow, red and more subtle red. Watambi was in his early 20s and considered himself an alien. In spite of constant haunting thoughts, supernatural slants of unhappiness and loneliness, he was content. With himself.

   

Disclaimer: I do not hold rights to the image and solely is used for representation. 

Three stories, One heart

The DVD guy of Chameli Ghat

Chapter 2

   The claustrophobic semen fragrant room pushed him to the present. His trance of being in his sexual escapades was his only solution to moral happiness. His hunger however was for more. He satisfaction was always temporary and he longed for something real and undying. Looking at the stacks of DVDs he cursed his fate and wondered if few years down the line he would still be a DVD guy. The very thought made him wince in horror and in a sadistic rage he kicked the charpoy so hard that his toes yelled in soreness. For him, sex was an escape. He considered it as an art and was of the view that it was the only action that ended on a high note. 

   The whole inter wining of bodies mixed with the warmth created a mind boggling urge  to penetrate. It served as a catalyst for freedom. free from social anxieties, free from duties and free from any familiar burden. The mild tremor felt on the penis would bring shivers down the entire spine. The soft guilty moans of his  partner would remind him that perhaps he is wanted. He is still remembered and someone in this world does need him. His spouse would generally climax in a night full of turmoil. Considering climaxing a female is a herculean task, he would pat himself in pride whenever he achieved this feat. He often thought that his partners would fake the orgasms but the slow expulsed thrust of their vagina proved otherwise. 

    Anal sex was his favourite. During such opportunities, his partner would become completely submissive and like a slave would yearn for penetration. Knowing this he would deliberately play around the clitoris till he knew that there would be a possibility of orgasm. When he saw them at their climax it was like watching a goddess. Her hair would be completely flowy with pitch black long curls and would be tingling at his chest, her nipples would silently jerk in exhaustion and bellow out to the fullest and the face! My oh my. Her eyes would be closed and her breath would be heavy. 

    The mouth would sometimes utter a shrill and sometimes empty speech. Her hands would be caressing his chest and during the exact stroke would catch hold of him so tight that the contractions could be almost felt like that of a bubbling heart beat. Those precious moments would be spent on just gazing at such immaculate beauty. Once reality would strike, she would open her eyes and look straight at him. A faint smile would appear and her hands would pinch her clitoris to make sure if this is indeed real.

Three stories, One heart

  CHAPTER 1: The DVD guy of Chameli Ghat (Continued.)

   His strategy in pleasing was simple. First lift his consort in the air and let her take in his body smell. Since he seldom bathed, his sweat combined with his body odour made a pleasurable smell to the oestrogen minds. Once a teaser was given he bit for the ears. This would mean a journey of endless love making and pleasure. The biting and caressing the ears followed by the neck would make his partner weak. In this process, he would start undressing her clothes and make them stark naked.

   If he wanted to have a NSA fun he would just leave them with a good fellatio and a hardcore fuck. But if he wanted to taste that vagina again, he would proceed with sucking of nipples enough to create a sensation down her clitoris. The fellatio would first start with a slow caress followed by play by play speed up of the female wanker. Once in their near climax, he would penetrate his thick penis right in to the vagina without any lube. The sudden entry of his dick would raise a sense of panic and a new tingling in to the fragile bodies of his partners. Once inside, he would remain for a period of 30 seconds for the pain to settle in and then with slow jerks enter her again and again. All along, he would hold on the legs far wide so that this gave him ample flexibility and ease in penetration. The moans of his consorts which would be muffled now would be a mix of scream and aggression.        They wanted more. Since his dick was thick and had ample veins, vaginas would contract blushingly.

    This sensation was closer to periods of near to orgasms and the pretty little damsels could only wish for nothing but more. Once increasing the thrust of his penetration he would start to his favourite act - pounding. This would be so intense, that his entire charpoy would squeak in protest. The girls if virgins would be strapped shut if they protested. Being treated like an animal, made them more hornier and angry at the same time. This was enough to create a running joke in the harems of Chameli Ghat that the true tears if needed would be obtained by the careless thrusts of the DVD guy.

-End of Chapter  1-

Observing the Selfie cult

   Selfie, an internet phenomenon has now transpired across the globe. It resonates the fact of selling yourself without a fee! It comes dead cheap. All you need is your puckered up lips, no filtered facial expressions, any low budget camera and you good to go! It is plain easy.

Photo courtesy: http://31.media.tumblr.com/c83d885ef8180cf2235aefea26bfe4cd/tumblr_mlnkrcXW6d1somx2wo1_500.png

Place the camera facing you and lo! make yourself a star. The beauty of selfie? It is a rising fad. Never going out of fashion. Ask Rihanna, Bieber, Obama or your next door 40s cougar. They sure are here to vouch for that. Behind the stills, around the edge clicks or flashing that model shaped pluto booty - Seflies are here to stay.

@internetsassychic16: I am gorgeous.
@lonesonegeek99: But, your instagram has just 20 followers.
@internetsassychic16: *goes offline*

Enjoying your 15th seconds of fame
You do not need to be Kanye or a Macklemore to be famous. If you can't be creative - do not fret. All you have to do is use something of yourself celeb-like and make it an USP.  A word of caution: You need to constantly keep uploading though for the internet world sure becomes bored.

Photo courtesy: http://cdn.24.co.za/files/Cms/General/d/1093/226cf933f7d64ad9b549bb0d5412a161.jpg

Empowers you!
That's right! Having some comments on your instagram page is sure going to raise your hopes up. It is a great way to uplift you or give you a moral high about your self expression. The accolades - keep them coming for this is your day! Your moment.

Your cat has hits more than Lindsay's docu series.

Your spirit animal is more popular than Lindsay. Pause! This is legit. Maybe the next time a new after rehab series unfolds, how about considering your pet in to it? I am sure it will be just as popular as your group of Mean Girls going wild!

Photo courtesy: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju53TjdiyhF6DAarXY0VaTl0GZumw4ktGYpX425ijDttaG78Jxkjmh5W9JxYqXegaAeEzhhdzWMOuVIUvFKUMCqKYWlhQ37m7xvbS_8Qr0S9c67SBzespfK_vyCxQoTIKICWXXIEkzN4c_/s1600/129035566946103234.jpg

Something old, yet strikes gold

You are going to be old but you pictures won't. There will never be a dull moment to take countless pictures for each of them will be on a new date. That is the smartest you need to be. Trust me. As long as your instagram is active loaded with pictures, you still making news.

Now you can safely eat - binge

Safely binge eating has never been so much fun. You no longer need to be insecure about the millions of eyes watching you as this can be turned in to your advantage. Want to consider it as a professional business - sure thing!

Photo courtesy: http://media3.onsugar.com/files/2014/03/02/197/n/1922398/21b081ab6bf07c47_Bhxb4PyCYAAoaH8.jpg.191ratio/i/Corinne-Foxx-machte-ein-Selfie-beim-Pizza-essen-daneben-sa%C3%9Fen-ihr.jpg

You are never alone

Even for once you need not feel alone. Your instagram selfie can make you stay connected with all your buddies and this can be a great reason to chat. No further requirement of enduring separate chat conversations with everyone. You can keep commenting while drooling over your own picture.

You become squirrel friendly

Thanks to your love of selfie clicks, you can find animals close to you in a proximity never before. Just trod to as close as possible and flash your smile. If the animal is friendly, he will piggy back on you straight away! No need of extra canoodling for sure.

Photo courtesy: http://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/squirell-attack.jpg

Caption ready

You not handsome. No problem! Your writing skills can come handy here. Go to the normal marathon fest and start clicking selfies with people in the backdrop. Start adding quirky lines and see the magic!

Selfie extremes

You can even take your selfie obsession to the next level. Embedding selfie videos while about to click when near a dangerous situation can sure give a thrill. Of course, this is not for everyone. Only for the adrenaline junkies or the stupid ones!

Photo courtesy: http://www.bubblews.com/assets/images/news/395536029_1396959567.jpg

- @siddheshgarg

Note: The twitter handles @internetsassychic16 and @lonesomegeek99 are fictitious and I claim no usage rights to it.

How someone's Facebook Shared Item can make you a Dare Devil

  Eye-balls! Everyone wishes to grab as many as one can. Gone are the days when you expected your love to climb to your room via a ladder or still think Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are the same!

Photo Courtesy: http://purduecco.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/you-got-it-dude-1.gif

 Today's age is completely out there out there. Time is money, my friend and we have certainly have begun to get increasingly impatient.

   Don't believe me? Consider the time when you miss your scheduled train from the nearest railway station. Don't you feel dejected enough and start going bananas. What follows are a series of redefining moments of apathy displayed by Nature towards you and you being the centre of doom. Happens and how do we know? Simple, we receive a notification of you sharing a post of chasing a running train.

   Is it some uncanny habit of ours that we look for a shining moment to glorify our plight in to jazzed up sympathy. Of course, we looking for the knight or the honorary high school Miss Popular to sweep by and grace us the honour of commenting on your post. Makes you feel wanted and the accidental instant star. So if you wish to know somebody the next time - fear not. No need of fidgeting over finding a quirky yet appropriate way to ask for her number. All you need is her name and Bam! a quick Facebook search and her life history is in front of you. Ta da! Wish to admonish someone? Just threaten to unfriend and see the magic!

Photo courtesy: http://www.ryanseacrest.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Unfriend-You.gif

   The virtual world is addictive - like checking your cell phone for any notification every now and then. But what's the harm. Facebook works on the principle of what others are doing and the fact that you go jelly (jealous) for every like or comment (read: achievement) he/she has accomplished makes us yearn to do something more zesty and unconventional. At least you giving your couch surfing a*s a reason to not laze around! All thanks to someone familiar's more super liked Facebook share. Believe it!

- @siddheshgarg