Night of Bey-hinds

It was the night to remember. 

Gone are the days, when showcasing your vaj-jay-jay were considered as an act of eye-candy. Now, this is 2014. Beyonce's booty, never got out-of-fashion. So much so, that even celebs couldn't help but exclaim a flawless - *gasp!* 

Nicki Minaj's buns 

ass equals flawless.

Taylor Swift

Yes, she just saw Bey's.

Wiz Khalifa - Amber Rose

If only her ass were as famous as Bey's - Wiz

And Nicki Minaj again 

Considering how viral her ass is, she deserves another mention. 

After shaking her buns, Nicki's ass agreed - lets, hide in shame. 

And finally - Bey herself

My ass made for the G-O-Ds. 

#flawless.

Gifs source: Gifphy

siddheshgarg

When Both can say - Certainly

Relationships are never tricky. We just feel so. It is like peeling your poignant layers, one at a time. It sounds complex, at times vague - but that is the beauty, the simplicity. The more you try to dig in, the deeper you sink in.

You need to experience it before thinking about it. And yes, you have.

Relationships come in all sizes and shapes. The emotional ones, the spiritual ones and even the blink-in-a-miss all sex, all fun ones. Love, is such a tender theme, that even the great scholars can be left scratching their heads when asked for pearls of wisdom. So who do you tend to, when in pain?

No one. Yes, no one. For the situations how common, how understood - it is impossible to decipher the intensity of love. The feeling of being love, orgasms and peace can never be quantified. It is like touching the infinity. Limitless yet visible. I for one, never accepted the fact that the meaning of true love ever existed. Until it happened. In the most bizarre way.

And when did it happen. Boy, it was like nectar. The taste was like an elixir, I never tasted before. But then sometimes, good things do come to an end. Of course, things start falling the moment that spark starts to dwindle. But true love will still make you feel like singing to the selfless tune while walking to the road to nothingness.

The time comes when you wish to strike back. Nice and hard. Perhaps, with a new bombastic energy. This time, your fist is tougher than iron. But wait. Is this a rebound? No. It is plain flow of adrenaline. Anger, anxiety, loneliness all clubbed into one. The moment you start feeling good, a part of you knows you are in for trouble. You need to understand that relationships are never a one way street. The harder you try to make it work, the more it worsens. So who is to be blamed - ignorance, passion or maybe just your stupid heart who never fails to go all out?

The answer is again, no one. You have to be patient.

There will be times where you will feel like jumping off a cliff and changing colours like a shape shifter. But pay no attention to your frail side, let him come out. For, he needs this. You need this. Time is never the bitch but certainly a true healer.

If your love reeked of purity, the ends of your street will meet. To a point, when both can say - certainly.

Photo credit: http://cdn29.elitedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/love1.jpg

 siddheshgarg  

6 ridiculous quotes of Ved Pratap Vaidik

Ved Pratap Vaidik has created a storm.

So much that, he has become a overnight sensation. His most recent tete-a-tete with Hafiz Saeed completely overshadowed his editorial days for Times Group. 

As this so-called acclaimed journalist remains defiant of his stupid action, we could only subtly lay down his 6 ridiculous quotes.

Note: Vaidik's quotes hold tall without any captions. 

1. Shut up! 

That's what he said to Arnab on primetime television. 

2. Back in my heyday, I was an editor

 3. I am a veteran in journalism.

 4. I have never come across a tape recorder.

5.  I want independent Kashmir

  6. I am still Indian.

Pictures source: Giphy

siddheshgarg

Manmohan Singh pens "Take On Me, I am Pokemon" autobiography

Reigning the Iron Throne for 2 tenures, Manmohan Singh has ascended from PMO Office.  Finally. Juggling daggers and pokerface expressions, Manmohan Singh was an inspiration to the likes of Arjun Rampals and Katrina Kaifs. It requires constant practice, tipped Manmohan Singh at the Vishwa Expressionless Acting summit.

Pokemon, thats me!

Photo credit: http://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/Popup/2012/7/ManmohanSingh650x400px.jpg

He is most notoriously known for his governance of rising onion prices and railway fares. When asked about the price inflation, Manmohan Singh subtly bowed down his head and pointed to the life-like sculpture of Sonia Gandhi beside his doorway. 

On sensing Manmohan Singh’s plight, Sonia Gandhi's mannequin automatically broke in to a lullaby, "Bahubali, hamari firangi - Sonia Gandhi! Sonia Gandhi!"  

Manmohan Singh has decided to club his favourite 80s aHa single, "Take On Me" and Madam Soniaji's fondness in to his autobiographical title. With the exception of Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi herself, no one is happy. The current President of India, "Pranab Mukherjee" on being comfortably ignored by Manmohan Singh has decided to raise a dharna. 

"But I will only fast like Kejriwal, sans muffler and his stinky 10 metre chaadar", reminded Pranab. We get the picture. 

Like a 10 year old who freaks out on finding a Dairy Milk in his bag, Manmohan Singh sprightly shared one of PMO's well-kept inside secrets, "Soniaji fondly calls me Pokemon." Loyal, Electric turbans - we get it. Cute - we thankfully don't.

siddheshgarg

Suarez's bite lethal than Great White Shark's

Luis Suarez is a killer forward, has killer looks and now killer jaws. His chiselled body and now chiselled teeth has become the talk of the entire tinsel town. So much that noted toothpaste companies are fighting for hiring him on board.

"He has sharp teeth that is strong and white.", reasoned head-honcho of Colgate.

"He can bite like a canine!", reasoned a jaywalker of All Dogs At My Disposal.

He become an international sensation when he bit Italy's defender Girogio Chiellini in a fit of rage. Though the FIFA match was friendly, clearly it meant something else in his Spanish. The common masses of Uruguay are quite nonchalant of this incident and seem highly indifferent to this hoopla.

When questioned, one of the avid football fans stated, "At least he got another reason to put Uruguay on the news map."

Photo courtesy: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BIeEz47CcAEPR1N.jpg

Fair enough, we say.

Though, fans of Uruguay are happy; the ones who are planning to raise a ocean wide protest is a lone Great White Shark. The Great White Shark who goes by the name, "Shark X" had become popular for his killing bites in U.S and Australia. Shark X would perform his weekly performance consisting of showcasing his sparkly teeth, bellowing like Anil Kapoor from Badhai Ho Badhai and biting any timid dolphin at the climax. Since, Suarez's biting incident; Shark X's show sales have rapidly reduced to an all time low.

Complained Shark X, "My ticket sales are now lesser than any Mumbai's street urchin. My loyal fans now ask me to do a Suarez. It is so humiliating!"

With a new respite and encouragement from several low key Bull Sharks, Great X has decided to embark on a worldwide tour of protest. The tour will cover a reasonable distance of Pacific Ocean, Atlantic Ocean and even the Gulf of Khambhat. Shark X has already succeeded in grabbing attention and he is now planning to slap a showcase notice of fame adultery on Suarez.

"Serves him right!", quipped Chiellini.  

@siddheshgarg

Kay Kay: My Role Model, My Friend

Kay Kay: My Role Model, My Friend

   I am awesome. So is Kay Kay. The fact that she accepts me the way I am (read: weirdo) speaks for itself. I met her through someone forgotten, had a tumultuous acquaintanceship, eventually became friends and finally ignored her all for the wrong reasons. We got back, many unheard rants later. I totally get her energy now. I text her one fine day and I immediately knew I hit a home run. She was patient. And she is no rival for she gave me the \m/ sign. I immediately felt at ease. Like I knew Kay Kay since the medieval age. Maybe the stone.   

   She works like crazy. Her passion is infectious. I am a beast too. I am a workaholic. Work like there is no tomorrow. We both do that. And yet never shy away from sharing everything. So be it the latest Eureka moment one had or simply dropping a text stating the day to be awesome, we do that. All the time. There is happiness. There is magic. Always. 

    I had to burn my bridges recently. Had been on the receiving end for something which wasn't my fault and was tossed like a scapegoat. And Kay Kay understood me. I now comfortably carry my heart on my sleeve. This is me for all I care. Love me, hate me, and hate me more. I am going to be me and won't mind flying. Kay Kay is someone who I look up to. She ain't taking anyone's shit. I work hard and god damn well earn my credit. Nobody messes with me. I plug that beast mode on and roar like a roaring beast. I write with my passion and with the intention of flowing it all out. It is like unlocking memories and placing in to permanent existence. Kay Kay was there when I clubbed my passion in to work and merely mentioning about Kay Kay makes me happy. 

    She accepted me the way I am, and I am grateful. You don't need to be a long lost friend to bond. When you give yourself all out and someone handles your worst, they certainly deserve your best. So does Kay Kay. She listens to Metal. I, house. Yet we jam. Like crazy. Like two beasts on fire. And yes I am for real. For I am awesome. So is Kay Kay.

- @siddheshgarg

I am writing about #MyRoleModel as a part of the activity by Gillette India in association with BlogAdda.com.

5 awesome reasons to use WhatsApp

5 awesome reasons to use WhatsApp

Whatsapp is youth-centric, popular and very now. For the fact that it lets you stay connected just like Vodafone’s mascot is the major reason why everyone uses Whatspp! Here are 5 awesome reasons why one should use Whatsapp.

5. Catching your love red-handed.

Your love hasn’t spoken to you since three hours (3 years in love years) because he wanted a much needed nap. Not trusting a word from his mouth, you need to cross check the tea. Simply use Whatsapp and check his last seen status. If he was online a couple of minutes ago, yes he is two timing you.

Photo courtesy: http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm730zvMSU1qenux5o1_500.gif

4. Connect with Rama aunty anytime

Okay Rama aunty is your favourite and you can’t live without staying in touch with her.  You need to ask for opinions for purchasing the latest bauble earring or simply ask for a contrasting skirt to go with your shoes; you can ask her opinion all by sending her the pictures.

3. You realize the worth of 100 rupees

Your dad had a huge showdown with you last night and has given you only 100 rupees for weekly allowance. Calling your friends and talking for hours now is no longer an option. Just activate your monthly subscription for Whatsapp and stay connected with not one but all your entire gang. Keep texting as much as you can all within your 100 rupees budget. Take that Daddy!

Photo courtesy: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi52U-ynoiLptjeg1zviA50VlSQfTlCNB2zcolKjQSK_zzn7MhKOrUKgIfuhkByB_xzhf0yzIkxAfe6O1iZ0a2jmX6nrt1XPedohRoIxJ-s1UVYwnKavfHVxw_u293h_o7Qa1_NmdQoCNo/s1600/dollar2.gif

2. Wassup for the 90s kids

You still can’t avoid saying Wassup and wish to continue using that jaded lingo. Enters Whatsapp! Now be it wassup or whatsapp, as long as it rhymes who cares!

Photo courtesy: http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdcyp0tJKp1rqdalko1_500.gif

1. Can’t speak, I am having a breakdown.

You having a melt down and can’t seem to speak to anyone. Yet you want your status to do the talking. Update your status enough to grab everyone’s attention and yet remain subtle. Ek teer do nishaane! Yeah right. 

Photo courtesy:http://flowpattz.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/2lmujc8.gif